sooo, there has been no exercise since wednesday really - no, get to the gym and sweat your butt off exercise anyway. until this morning that is. managed to do 5 sets of 3:1 on the treadmill today. So I'm mighty proud of myself. I probably could have kept going too - although that last 3:1 was a bit harder than the others. I even ran a bit faster than usual, and my walking pace was an even 3 miles/hour rather than the 2.7 or 2.8 I usually do. it's great to see even little improvements from week to week. I might have a low energy day or two here or there, but the overall trend is improvement. yay. i am so freakin' proud of myself. and these little improvements are so motivating.

it was a good weekend too. i didn't go to the gym - after the week i had last week, the naturopath told me to take it easy over the weekend and let my body recover from the radioactive dye and the ct scan, and the emotional stress it all caused. but instead of just spending the weekend in my pjs as i so often would have done, I got up and dressed each day, heading out for a matinee movie on saturday and a walk/coffee on sunday. I walked 3 km in gale-force winds for that coffee, so strong is the allure of the soy latte. But again, i'm proud of myself for getting off the couch and walking and enjoying life. It's so easy, especially at this time of year, to just sit in the basement watching tv and letting the depression take hold. but this year i'm actively fighting it. and it's so much better. and again, motivating to keep this going in my life. I know in a way it's a choice - you chose to be happy, you chose not to be happy - and this is me making better choices in my life, but it's also not. when you're in the grip of the dragon it's so hard to make those choices, to get the motiviation and the momentum to make the right choices in your life.

of course, there could still be better choices to be made: like this morning...why i think i can only have one hersey's kiss and not keep going back for more, even though i never can, i'll never know. everytime i'm faced with the choice of eat chocolate or don't eat chocolate a little voice inside of me says "oh, just have one, you'll be fine" and so i do, even though, i know this is the first of many i will have throughout the day...there is no such thing as just one when it comes to chocolate and me. when i will learn that and thus learn to say no is another thing entirely...